What is a Person, Anyway?

From an early age, the inquisitive girl realized that there was nothing personal.  Therefore, she could not “take” things personally.  She had began to understand that people were programmed how to act and how to speak and what to laugh at.   According to their thoughts, they created beliefs about the world.

 

She could see thoughts come and go like bubbles, as if they were objects.  She could day-dream and see thoughts just as one could imagine faces in the clouds.  She understood that imagination was everything and that everything was created from imagination: image-making.

 

Way back when she had been in kindergarten, she had imagined that there was a telescope with which she was being watched by her parents, even though she was living in the United States and they were in Asia sometimes.  There was no doubt in her “mind” that this was actually true. She knew that there was no distance except in thought.  And no space, either.  When she would ride in a car, she would imagine that she was still, not moving, while the world passed by – the windshield became a theater, and she was the audience!

 

From a very early age she developed a witness perspective which became the observer of her in the world, but especially of herself.  One day, when she was older and almost an adult, she heard a guru say that becoming the witness was a special spiritual practice; this resonated with what she already knew and had been doing for such a long time.

 

It also seemed that if one did not witness, then it was  like being in a trance – the trance of believing that one was only the sum total of their thoughts and experiences.  She fine-tuned this art of witnessing to the degree that she observed closely every aspect of her daily actions.  So fine was this tuning-in, that she would be able to anticipate when a particular thought would enter into her awareness, and she would even laugh out loud when repetitive thoughts would appear as clouds of learned reactions.  From this vantage, she came to know that she was the indwelling consciousness that was always present: it was always first on the scene!  She had become the conscious observer.

 

She came to know that there was this “person” who seemed to be born and reborn whenever there was a thought, and that this person claimed the center stage.  This big-headed person’s name was “I.”  She came to know that this I-person was actually a collection of thoughts, and that the I-person was the one who other people reacted to.

 

People who were defined by their thoughts were reacting to everyone else’s thoughts.  She used to laugh at this funny show.  But then, it wasn’t always funny.  Because as she continued to view life and the world in this way as she became an adult, she realized that it was because of these reactions that wars and violence occurred.  People defended their thoughts as if the thoughts were who they were! 

 

Whenever she became involved in a clash of ideas, she would implore the other person just to try not to take it personally, or, to try to forget about personal problems and get on with the subject at hand.  Sadly, she was always surprised at how identified people were with their collection of thoughts, that they would rather defend than let go of these I-thoughts.

***

This is an excerpt from a booklet I wrote.  If you would like to read the entire story,  click this link:  The Last Question

 

 

 

Anatomy of an Ego, or Will the Real "I" Come Forward?

The "I" casts off the illusion of "I" and yet remains as "I".
Such is the paradox of realization.   Ramana Maharshi

In the beginning of the spiritual quest, the focus of one's attention turns within in direct proportion to a growing awareness that the world appears to be an endless turning wheel, spinning back and forth between pleasures and sufferings.   The seeker of truth begins to search for what is real and lasting.

Ramana has said that the "I" casts off the illusion of false "i" and that this is a paradox.  There are not two "I's!"  It is a paradox only for the personal "i!" 

When the first thought “I am” arises in Consciousness, it is the first relationship actually - that of the form and formlessness (consider the divine metaphor of Shiva and Shakti, experiencing separateness only to merge as One again and again)   In this play of consciousness, Maya (or ignorance of Consciousness) appears.  I, me and mine thus are born into a world created by this ignorance of separation and since the world, by definition, will always reflect the first thought of separation, it (the world) also appears as separate and all the conditions to support this false view arise simultaneously, such as time and space.

So now an "individual" has been born into a world (a mental landscape) of struggle for survival.  Thought to be separate, it always lives in fear and helplessly chases pleasurable experiences and tries to avoid painful experiences.  All it ever truly wants is to be happy and to love and be loved, and moreover, to live forever!  There is a subconscious knowing that these desires are somehow attainable, although the world disproves their possibility, keeping one constantly on a circular maze. 

Here now we come full circle: when the individual, lost in the world made real in her own mind, but through persistent sincere and earnest inquiry into the nature of reality, having realized that the world as known by the body and its senses, and the mind and its thoughts, is unsatisfying, and basically like an endless wheel spinning the same untruths over and over, like a stuck record   -----   an alchemy occurs and the Witness appears in Awareness.  At first, small moments of clarity and insight, and through increased and consistent inquiry, a shift occurs wherein the individual, or false "i", is seen as an object of perception by this Witness quality of the Absolute Self.  At this stage, the world with all its changing scenes, along with the personal "i", is seen with increasing clarity and insight to be unreal because it is always changing!  The sincere seeker of truth is now inquiring into what is Real (unchanging) and it also becomes evident at this point that what was thought to be the knower, her mind, cannot be trusted any longer to guide her quest to the nature of reality and the truth. 

Here is the point of no-return!, the threshold, the jumping off point!  One dallies here because of the fear of giving up what is familiar (albeit unsatisfying).  Jumping off the wheel of life as has been lived up to this point takes tremendous courage.  For some it may be a sudden leap of faith, for others it might take many confrontations.  And for the majority, a rationalization begins to emerge which says one can be spiritual by taking on the outer appearances of what is projected to be a spiritual life.  This is the vast wasteland occupied by seekers who wander from teacher to teacher, from practice to practice, year after year after year, deceiving themselves that they are the spiritually elite!  Unwilling to let go of the false subject position of the false "i" ("child of a barren woman"), they are orphans in an unreal world, never feeling at home or at peace, and using spirituality as a narcotic to tranquilize their helplessness, taking on complicated practices (and sometimes equally complicated lifestyles and clothing!) to give their life a purpose.  They settle for a progressive type of understanding and are deceived into believing that there is a process within a time-frame (initiations, spiritual practices, reincarnations, stages of awareness, etc).  They have traded the possibility of direct experience for the promise of eventual awakening of the false "i;" thus prolonging the fear of losing their familiar world – having their cake and eating it too!

With the first thought, “I am,” which is actually a natural recognition of ones true Self, there occurs the first separation and the birth of ignorance.  This is ego, who does not want to disappear back into the One, so it constructs a world by thinking thoughts, creating a network called “history”, personal and world history!, to identify itself with.  This seems to justify a world of multiplicity in which to roam about, ostensibly seeking eternal happiness but, unfortunately, limiting itself to temporary happiness only, banging its ego-head on repeating cycles of pain and pleasure yet afraid to jump off this man-made prison wheel of repeating cycles, afraid to get off the carousel of the mental states.

Deconstruction is the only cure!
The medicine is self-inquiry.
The means is sincerity and earnestness.

When the first thought is isolated by the grace of witnessing, it is seen only as the natural flow between form and formless, between lover and beloved.  This is the tantric esoteric insight.  From this view, all else is seen as a play of consciousness, said to be playing a game of hide and seek, yet the seeker and the sought, the enjoyer and the enjoyed are now recognized as Being One and the Same, not separate, never was separate and never will be separate.

Ahhh – now the eternal and the infinite become the landscape, not time and space!!!

What about Reincarnation?

"What about reincarnation?" one might ask.

Why think about reincarnation in terms of life times?

Consider this: one is reincarnating oneself each moment one allows the mind to define oneself - a body/mind is reconstituted from concentrated mind-stuff!

Only One Thought Away

Questioner:  "But my mind is so busy and for this reason I need spiritual practices and meditation to be enlightened."

Response:  "Good news!  You are only one thought away from what you seek!"  

Questioner:  "And what is that thought?" (with excitement)

Response:  The thought,  "I am not enlightened yet."   

This thought opens up a Pandora's Box of associated thoughts which aim to validate this ultimate statement of lack, not the least of which is the thought, "I am a seeker."   

There is a central I-thought which holds together a constellation of thoughts which thus seem to be the form of an individual who has history (memory thoughts) and beliefs (conceptual thoughts).  Obviously, then, there is no I as ego except as an expanded concept held in place by giving importance to the central position of the I-thought, a position which in itself is also conceptual! 

In order to grasp fully this insidious mental grip of the ego, it is helpful for the so-called seeker to become attentive to his mischief making beliefs!  Self-inquiry is useful: ask, "To whom does this thought arise?" And when the answer comes, "Well, to me of course," ask "Who am I? Who am I really?"

Inquiring into the validity of the central I-thought reveals that it in fact does not actually exist except as a belief.   

Spiritual practices only serve to reinforce the belief in a seeker on a progressive path leading to (a belief in) enlightenment.  

"Liberation is never of the person,  it is always from the person," says Nisargadatta Maharaj.

Meditation - Not Just Another Activity

I have observed that many people treat meditation as an activity - one of the many that they make time for!

Meditation is the art of living wisely - enjoying oneself living spontaneously without any sense of me, of identification with a personal history or projected future self.  

Living spontaneously, unconditionally free in the present, requires that no conditions have to be met, such as:  special places, special times, special visualizations, special prayers, special cushions, special postures, special teacher, special diet, special clothes, special initiations, special rules of conduct.

Once, after a particularly poignant meeting with a group of people - whereupon everyone was drawn naturally into spontaneous quietude - one person asked if we could all sit down to meditate, having been so moved by the prior stillness.  The contrast was self evident for everyone present. Meditation is not something that you "do."  It is what occurs spontaneously when you dissappear as the meditator.

Relationship Inquiry

When you find that you are in conflict with your partner, talking about who is right or wrong just strengthens the impasse, the stuckness. And, when you find that you are just repeating the story, it reinforces a fictional self, like holding your past self in stasis (in limbo) with no room to grow, frozen in past time; it doesn’t take into account your present understanding.

By a process of “inner dialogue” you yourself can discover what is true - not what someone else tells you is true. By asking yourself the following questions before you meet with your partner, you will be benefited by a more open, all-inclusive prospective rather than a narrow mind-oriented subjective viewpoint, which is only interested in being right. The questions repeat themselves as different layers of beliefs and concepts are naturally exposed, each set of questions going deeper and deeper into Truth.

Questions to Ask Yourself:

Without referring to “why” you and your partner (describe conflict) , what have you learned from the experience?

Without justifying yourself, what have you gained?

Without rationalizing yourself, what have you learned?

How has your outlook changed by knowing what you know now?

Without rationalizing the situation, what do you now understand that you didn’t know then?

If you only had 10 minutes more to spend with your partner, what would you say to him/her?

Knowing what you know now, what would you have said to your past self 10 minutes before (describe conflict) .

If your partner could reciprocate your love, how would you feel now?

Can you imagine loving that self within that knows love? Can you imagine being with someone who knows that love is the nature of one’s inner Self? Can you imagine yourself being that love within? Can you imagine being in love with your Self? Can you imagine what would happen if you loved your Self? Can you imagine love guiding your life instead of the idea of “looking for love” guiding your life? Can you imagine love guiding your life instead of “looking for love” outside of your own Self?

If yes, what would you say to your partner now?

How would a relationship look like if neither partner was looking for love?

How would a relationship look like if both partners knew that love is one’s own true Being?

How would a relationship look like if both knew that love is not separate from oneself?

Would there be any more need to “get” love from another?

If both partners knew that love was their core nature, would love happen naturally?

Would there be any more dependency on one’s partner to "get" happiness?

Would there be any more dependency on one’s partner?

What would you be free to give if you were no longer dependent?

Is love ever present, or based on projected needs or external conditions?

That love which is felt when projected needs are met, is that love real?

Could you surrender to your true self which does not need or want anything from another?

Could you give up taking what you thought you needed from another?

Could you begin in this moment to give love without needing anything in return?

By doing this would you become more lovable?

How does your heart center feel now?

How could you express that?

How could you express that to (your partner) ?

Could you express that without a need to justify your past actions?

Could you express love without a need to tell your story?

What happens to the story?

Is it a fiction in your mind?

Can you give up being a prisoner of the attitudes created by your mind, the storyteller?

What would the ideal relationship be like if love was already within each partner and there was no more need to get love, but instead to give Love?

With what you now know, what is an ideal relationship?

Could you express that to (your partner) ?

Would you like to be accepted as you are, without judgment?

Could you accept your partner without judgment?

Can you accept him/her as he/she is?

Can you accept yourself as you are now?

What within you accepts you as you are and he/she as he/she is?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

That which is unconditionally accepting is not attached to your expectations.

That which is unconditionally accepting has always been with the you that has been constantly changing throughout your life.

That which is unconditionally accepting is that which is the silent detached self, within the you that is always changing, and it has always been your innermost Self.

That which is your innermost Self is that which you long to be.

That which is your innermost Self is separated from you only by your belief that your mind and body is yourself.

That which is your innermost Self is the true Self of all appearances: you and your world.

That which is your innermost Self is the innermost of all that appears to you because all that appears is within you.

That is the Self.

And you are That.

Recommended Books

I am often asked to recommend books.

Here is a list, placed in alphabetical order, so that there is no implied assignment of value.

If, however, I were to choose only one book to take with me to the proverbial desert island, it would be, without hesitation, I Am That, by Nisargadatta Maharaj. The following are also by Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj:

Seeds of Consciousness.  Jean Dunn, ed. New York: Grove Press, 1982.

Prior to Consciousness.  Jean Dunn, ed.  Durham: Acorn Press, 1985.

Consciousness and the Absolute.  Jean Dunn, ed.  Durham: Acorn Press, 1994.

The Wisdom of Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj.  Robert Powell. New York: Globe Press, 1992.

The Ultimate Medicine.  Robert Powell.  San Diego: Blue Dove Press, 1994.

The Experience of Nothingness.  Robert Powell.  San Diego: Blue Dove Press, 1996.

* * *

Ashtavakra Gita.  Thomas Byrom, trans.  Boston: Shambhala Dragon Editions, 1990.

Atma Bodha Deepika (The Lamp of Non-Dual Knowledge). Tiruvannamalai: Sri Ramanasramam, 2002.

Atma-Darshan (At the Ultimate). Sri Krishna Menon - Atmananda. Austin: Advaita Publishers, 1978.

Advadhut Gita. Swami Chetanananda. trans. Calcutta: Advaita Ashrama, 1994;  or by Hari Prasad Shastri, trans. London: Shanti Sadan, 1968.

Be As You Are: The Teachings of Sri Ramana Maharshi.  Sri Ramana Maharshi.  David Godman, ed.  Arkana Penguin Books, 1989.

Bhagavad Gita

The Conference of the Birds.  Farid al-Din Attar.  Dick Davis, trans. Penguin Classics, 1984.

Diamond Sutra.  A.F. Price & M.L. Wong, trans. Boulder: Shambhala, 1969.

I Am That (Talks With Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj). Maurice Frydman, trans. Durham: The Acorn Press, 1996.

Jnaneshvar. Swami Abhayananda.  Delhi: Sri Satguru Publications, 2000. Included in this edition are the complete texts of Amritanaubhav, Haripatha, and Changadev Pasashti.

Journey to the Lord of Power: A Sufi Manual on Retreat.  Ibn 'Arabi.  Rabia Terry Harris, trans. Rochester: Inner Traditions International.

Hsin Hsin Ming, Verses on the Faith Mind. Sengstan, Third Zen Patriarch. Richard B. Clarke,   trans. Virginia Beach: Universal Publications.

Mishkat Al-Anwar (The Niche of Lights).  Shaykh Muhammad Al-Ghazali. David Buchman, trans. Brigham Young University Press.

No Mind - I Am the Self, The Lives and Teachings of Lakshamana Swami and Mathru Sri Sarada.  David Godman.  Tiruvannamalai: Bhanumathy Ramanadham, Publisher.

Pointers From Nisargadatta Maharaj. Ramesh Balsekar.  Durham: Acorn Press, 1982.

Ribbu Gita. Dr. H. Ramamoorthy and Master Nome, trans.  Santa Cruz: Society of Abidance in Truth, 1995; or by N. R. Krishnamoorthi Aiyer, trans. Tiruvannamalai: Sri Ramanasramam, 2003.

Shankara's Crest Jewel of Discrimination (Viveka-Chudamani). Swami Prabhavananda and Christopher Isherwood, trans. Hollywood: Vedanta Press, 1978

Silence of the Heart, Robert Adams. Ananda Devi, ed. Sedona: Nicole Adams, publisher, 1997.

Spiritual Enlightenment: The Damnedest Thing. Jed McKenna. Scotsdale: WiseFool Press, 2006.

Tripura Rahasya. Tiruvannnamalai: Sri Ramanasramam.

The Way of Life According to Laotzu. Witter Bynner, trans. New York: Perigee Book, 1972.

Who Am I?  Sri Ramana Maharshi. Tiruvannamalai: Sri Ramanasramam, 2003.

Whoso Knowest Himself (The Treatise on Being).  Muhyiddin Ibn 'Arabi. Cecilia Twinch, trans.

World Within the Mind (Extracts from the Voga-Vasishtha). H.P. Shastri, trans. London: Shanti Sadan, 1975.

The Zen Teaching of Huang Po. John Blofeld, trans. New York: Grove Press, 1958.

Transcripts of talks, and/or books by the following sages:

Alan Watts

Jean Klein

Sri Ramana Maharshi

Jelaluddin Rumi (recommended: Colman Barks, trans.)

Sailor Bob Adamson

The Self is All Inclusive

The Self is all inclusive, setting nothing apart from Itself.  Everything arises from This that I am, Awareness.  This is Self-evident.  The Self sees the Totality, Self, while the i only sees separation.  

Enough of Vedantic Study

Enough of Vedanta studies and all systems which assume to outline my Being.  I am too simple to be studied in such a complex design.  I Am the most ordinary, the only Real and True.  Reality is the only Real, untouched  by interpretations.

No more talk of “I’s” and “you's” and “me’s”, the unreal and the real.  No longer my way.

 

Eyes Wide Open

Having “eyes wide open” means seeing without a mental lens.  To see the world “as it is” means to distrust the body/mind paradigm to give accurate information.  The eyes see a mirage and it is interpreted by the mind as real.  Begin to doubt the accuracy of everything the eyes see and the mind interprets.  Be more interested in That power which enables the body/mind to see and to interpret.  Be more interested in the source of Consciousness Itself rather than what you are conscious of.

Drop all mental lenses.  Each one: personal history, desires, sorrows, hopes, dreams, regrets, assumptions, opinions, prejudices, expectations, dislikes, likes and on and on.  How?  By watching how the lenses change our mental states or emotions.  Observing the lens removes the lens because the emphasis has changed from being the state of mind, to just Being.

Keys to the Doors of Perception

Finding the key that unlocks a door of perception takes sincere interest – however the entering into sweeps you away from the seeking forever.  Realizing that you yourself are the most interesting phenomenon here is a key.  Being more fascinated by the phenomenon of being aware rather than being aware of some person, place or thing in particular is a key.  Being aware of oneself trying to be aware – this becomes a master key when asking oneself "Who is aware of (this or that)? or,"To whom does this thought come?"

What is obvious is that keys must be used!  Having a lot of unused keys is like having a huge library but not reading.  Many spiritual aspirants are really collectors of keys!  Don't be confused by your thoughts, making you indecisive about which door to enter – the master key will unlock all the doors!

Let's look at the nature of the key:

It is made up of curiosity and determination.  It burns a hole in your (mental) pocket because it wants to unlock the door which creates the concept of inside/outside (duality).  The key is therefore an alchemist's tool – opening doors of perception so that one's fixed ideas can be seen as false.

When you realize that there is a key, it is like knowing your own name - you will never forget it, even if you try!  There will be a nagging curiosity to use it and open the door into the unknown.  Even while endeavoring to be successful in the world of the "known," contentment will not be yours until you use the key of "real" curiosity and "real" determination to open the lock on the door of reality.

What is real -  really real?

Having used the key to unlock the door of personal perception of people, places and things, one realizes that the "personal" takes up a lot of space! . . . . and that all of our perceptions are very personal!  And moreover, these perceptions are ever-changing along with the changing perceptions of who we think we are.  So what is really real takes on a tremendous importance.  If "out there" is constantly changing depending on our own subject position, our own personal perceptions, then naturally we are drawn to look into the core assumption we have of
being a "person."  The master key of self-inquiry is used  -  "Who am I?"  The door of perception opens. Ahaaa!   I am not "who" I thought I was: that person whose thoughts are always changing.

 
I am   Awareness  of that person whose thoughts are always changing!